You ever walk into the kitchen to make yourself some tea
And step out with an entire home cooked meal?
You ever walk around the house preparing your next TED talk
Like someone’s actually going to listen to it,
Only to realise, the whole time you’ve been talking to your cat?
You ever wondered why it is, if you’re such a good catch,
Nobody’s caught you yet?
You ever think about that way that you used to have your hair in fifth grade,
You know, the way you matched the bandana and the earrings, and the necklace, and the colour on your braces,
And wonder how you didn’t crack a mirror?
You ever look at your cat and wonder if you say you love him too much,
Cause now he responds to it the same way as when you say his name?
You ever wonder if you need to get out more?
You ever get out more and then wonder why you did it in the first place?
Why people say “just one drink” and never mean it,
And what the hell is up with that, anyway?
You ever wonder why people say things like:
“I’m almost ready”, “I’m on my way”, “Yeah it was really good for me too”, “I love you” -
When we all know nobody means them?
You ever trip on your own feet and laugh by yourself
Cause you’re so damn clumsy it’s funny?
You ever wonder if aliens are real
And then realise there’s enough weird shit going on in the world
That if aliens are real they’re probably worried about us ‘cause humans are crazy?
You ever think about that one time you kissed that one person
And wonder if they think about it, too?
Cause it changed your life, but you’re so damn insecure
You find it hard to believe you could change someone else’s life, too?
You ever wonder what your cat is thinking
When he makes that face
Only to realise you probably think about your cat way too much?