Hello University. My name is Susy Alfaro. I’m kinda nervous, kinda chubby, kinda awkward, and sometimes kinda mean. I can honestly say I almost always have the best intentions, and many times things don’t go my way. I play with my heart and chase the moonlight like it will never come again. I miss the sunny days when I’m inside, and feel an uncontrollable urge to cry with joy when the rain comes, which here is half of the year - so you could say I cry a lot. I have a learned condition of keeping things to myself and come off too strong, too snobby, too much of a lot of things. In reality, I’m just scared of getting hurt again.
University, I’ve been hurt before, and hurt pretty bad. I won’t lie, that’s left its scars. I channel my pain with the stroke of a pen, the perfect shot, the endless travel. I go too hard, work too much, laugh too uncontrollably. I fall in love and love doing it, even when I can see the end of it being another catastrophe in a series of broken hearts. I’m not innocent. I like to feel infinite and have yet to comprehend that infinity is not an attainable quality for a mere human body. Boy, but for a second there, I tell you.
I push myself too hard and have pushed myself til I get sick since I can remember. I forget that sleep is a good thing - and then I remember how good it is and never leave the bed. I have a problem with middle terms, evidently.
I don’t know why you should pick me since sometimes I have a problem picking myself. I remember I’ve hurt the one that loved me, been abandoned by the one I wanted, left everything I built behind. Some days I wake up and immediately want to pack my bags and go away, keep exploring and experiencing new moments, because it is those that make sense of whatever it is I’m doing every other day.
One thing I will say in my defense, though, I love and have loved and will continue to love with an ardent passion. I will continue to explore and attempt to understand the human condition that places us here on this Earth for what seems like the blink of an eye. I’ll continue to bring joy wherever I can and will jump through whichever hoops you put in my way. Because I want this, all of this, the good, the bad, the goddamn ugly.
I guess the only thing left to say, University, is I hope you do pick me. Because somebody should. I hope we can have amazing experiences together that someday I’ll look back upon and smile. I hope we can see the moonlight together and watch, as the sun rises, the beginning of a new day.